There’s been a lot of talk lately about Brittany, the girl in Oregon who is 29 and has decided to end her life in a few weeks, because she has cancer.
I was going to write about this. But then Ann Voskamp put this on her blog, and…all I can say is yes.
Yes, five thousand times yes.
Suffering is pain. Suffering is darkness and doubt and horrible things, and there are times when in that suffering and pain we want to end it all, to end in on our terms.
I know. I’ve been there. I’ve almost said no so many times. So many times I wanted to close my hands, like Ann says in her book, and say no, God! No God, I will not take this from your hand!
No, no, no. I will not.
But the thing is…..that’s where the pain all comes from. From saying no.
What kicked Lucifer out of heaven?
Saying, no, God. No, God, I will not do this. I will not serve.
Thousands of years later….the world was healed and saved with yes.
Yes, God. Yes, I will do your will.
“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.”
–John 6: 38
I have laid in the bed, in the dark nights, with tubes in my body and pain in my mind and thought I can’t.
I have fought against that will. I have wanted to stop.
But then I realized that God is in all those details. He knows when I sit and when I stand, and He has marked out my day aright.
There is a plan…it’s just not one I know, all the way to the end. But to end the story before it’s really over? To deny myself, and others, any of the precious days that God gives?
We have to–all of us have to–trust in the plan. Open our hands and say “yes” to whatever is placed in it.
God is always good. Always. No matter what is happening.
In the suffering is the good, the glory…its beauty.
And I say that as someone who knows it, and who has wanted to run away from it and deny it and has wished for something that would be easier.
But that’s not His plan for me. His plan is for me, right here, and right now, with this body.
When He calls me, I’ll go. But until then….He’s the author of my story.