Daybook No. 74

Outside my window:

Another sparkling Fall day. Well, OK, it’s the first full day of Fall, but yesterday was gorgeous too. I got to sit on my back porch with a drink and a book and it was amazingly awesome.

Wearing::

My PJs. Late start this morning–stomach wanted more sleep, stomach got more sleep.

Reading::

OK, so this week in The Artist’s Way, we’re not supposed to be reading. Um, yeah…..so I’m trying to “cut down” on my reading. The idea is that artists can use reading as a crutch to avoid doing other things. And yeah, there are times when I’m so guilty of that. So what I’m trying this week is “intentional reading”. As in, not just reading to avoid doing other things, but as a reward (not the best word, but it’s all that’s coming to me right now) for doing the other things. The only places where I’m keeping my reading “as is” is before I go to bed, and at the gym. Since I don’t have the CI adapter for my iPhone yet, I can’t listen to music, so I read, and I go harder when I do it. Strange but true.

And I went to the library yesterday and grabbed a whole haul of books, so I’m reading those. When I go to the library I just grab what looks good to me. So yesterday I read a biography of Gypsy Rose Lee, and two books on eating that were diametrically opposed to one another: The Engine 2 Diet and The Primal Connection. I liked the latter much better. Today I’m starting Palisades Park. Still reading Summa of the Summa, of course.

Creativity::
The Artist’s Way tasks, and learning the music for Hello, Dolly! I think we’re supposed to be off book this weekend, so I’m working on getting myself there.

Pondering::

Belief in God, and how that shapes your life.

I belong to a lung transplant group on Facebook, and I often see people over there saying things like “I was DETERMINED to control my destiny and my health! And so I did and I would do anything to keep on living!” or, “I believe that I control my health and my destiny”, or things of that nature.

All of these things make me pause. First, I love my life. But at some point–we’re all going to die. This should not be shocking to anyone. You’re born, you die. Circle of Life. (Cue Elton John) I am not willing to do anything to stay alive. For example, at this point, I wouldn’t consider a third transplant. A second, yes. A third, no. To me, a third seems selfish and sort of desperate. So many people are waiting for that first transplant, and you want a third? There’s also a lot of medical reasons: Your aorta is only so long. The more transplants you have, the more scar tissue, the more antibodies in your body (which make you harder to match to another set of organs), and the more trauma your body has been through.

I would much rather live my life, set things in order peacefully and calmly, then wait for a third call.

Life is wonderful, yes, but it’s not forever.

As for controlling health and destiny: well, health, to a certain extent, yes. Not entirely. If you think you can entirely prevent yourself from getting sick, you dwell in crazy land.

Destiny? No. You know who controls my life? God does. I don’t control it. I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow. I have no idea. God controls my destiny. God knows when I’m going to die, and he knows everything that’s going to happen before then. My job is to cooperate with His plan for my life. If I went around thinking I controlled my destiny, I’d go crazy.

Yes, we control certain things. But big picture? That’s God’s domain. Far too many people blame Him for things they shouldn’t blame Him for, and far too many people think that they control things that are only in His hands.

I don’t have my book with me, but there’s a really good part in Outlander where Claire prays for Jamie; they’re in the French abbey and Jamie is close to death. She goes into the chapel, where the Host is in the monstrance for adoration, and she prays, “Lord, I commend to you your servant James” over and over. There, she realizes a way that might save him; but she realizes it in prayer, after she’s surrendered the person she loves completely to God.

It’s not just in transplant group where I see this. I see this every day in other people, and I’m sure you do, too. If I’ve learned one thing in my life, it’s that God is in control, not me. And praise Jesus for that! (Most of the time. 😉 )

Around the house::

(Back to the boring, eh?)

Cleaning, the normal stuff. Thursday has become my “cleaning” day since that’s an off day for the gym.

In the kitchen::

I made pea and mint soup last night, which was fun to make, but only so so in the taste department. Tonight it’s a Moroccan fish dish for dinner and a salad for lunch.

Plans for the week::

Gym today and W, and Fri and Sat.

Dinner with my brother tomorrow

A friend’s fundraiser on Thursday (he’s running for a county position)

Dolly rehearsals this weekend, and CCD on Sunday

 

 

Seven Quick Takes No. 57

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I.

OK, I’m just going to be honest here. I don’t feel like writing today. There really isn’t anything going on and I just want to veg out in front of my couch with the DVR playing catch up. However: to make habits, you have to do the work. So writing is my work, and I have to do it even when I might not “want” to.

II.

So fitness. Let’s start there. I’ve lost another pound this week, which brings my losing streak to about a month now, which is pretty great. I’m very happy about this. I talked to the dietician today and she would like to see me lose another 8 pounds (that’s keeping with my pound a week) before my clinic visit on Nov. 10. I think I can do that, and that would be a big chunk of my weight loss goal.

I’m working on M-W, and Fri-Sat. Sunday and Thursday are my off days. Next week is my last week of official rehab so then my work outs will take place entirely in the local gym, five times a week.

Five times a week. I never thought I’d be exercising five times a week. But I am. That’s sort of crazy.

III.

Another thing that’s crazy? I haven’t had pasta in ages. I used to eat it at least twice a week. I’m Italian! But now it’s definitely in the special occasion  category (because there is no life without carbonara, people). The change to more protein in my diet has been a good thing.

IV.

And…writing. It’s fall, which means NaNoWriMo is happening soon. I think I have an idea for this year’s novel, and October is the month I use for planning purposes, which is great. But I haven’t done a lot of writing since I sent my manuscript (ms, in writer-speak) to my beta readers. That is pretty on hold until I get feedback, which will give me direction that I need for how to move forward in the second draft edits.

V.

My friend Cristina talked about her writing schedule today on her blog. I really need something like that. There’s a lot of things I need to integrate into a schedule right now: The writing, the housekeeping, the fitness. There’s a lot happening there. And as much as I want to have everything done at one time, I realize that I can’t do that. I can only add habits one at a time. So the morning pages–working on adding that, and that’s clearly in the writing category. The five days a week of workout–we’re adding that. It’s incremental pieces, I think.

VI.

No rehearsal for Dolly this weekend, which is fun, but I will be rehearsing on my own, because this music is tricky, and I need to have it down.

VII.

And, of course, CCD is back. This week is our first real week of class, and we’ll be talking about God the Father and prayer.

 

 

Daybook No. 72

Outside my window::

Sunny, some clouds, really nice temperatures. We’re going to hit the 60s by the end of the week, which is sort of exciting. Fall is invigorating to me.

Wearing::

A brown skirt, blue v-neck t-shirt, and my black workout leggings. I had rehab this morning and just tossed my skirt on over my leggings post workout.

Reading::

Man, I’m behind in reading. I just re-read the Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan because the last book comes out next month, so I wanted to be fresh on the story lines. I’m still reading Summa of the Summa, although now we’re in the interesting parts about ethics and what makes people happy, as opposed to the highly highly philosophical stuff like matter and yada yada. This is better for me. Working my way through The Artist’s Way with the workbook and the morning pages that I wrote about here.

Fitness::

I joined Planet Fitness last week and I really enjoy working out there. I know, gasp and all that. My PT would like me to go tomorrow and Saturday in addition to our 3x/week sessions. I’m OK with that.

Theater::

So I’m doing Hello, Dolly! with PCT now. The music is harder than I thought. Sometimes much harder (“Put on Your Sunday Clothes”, anyone?). So I’m practicing daily in addition to our weekend rehearsals. Show goes up October 17. I really need to get a cast recording because the movie is pretty different, music wise (a  lot of the chorus parts are cut out and made unison), so it doesn’t help as much as it could.

Church::

CCD is back in full swing. We had our first class yesterday and I think, tentatively, that it’s going to be a good year. Much smaller class this year, not even 20 kids, as opposed to the 30+ we had last year!

In the CD player::

Frozen. I’ve been feeling the need to belt when I drive. 🙂

From the kitchen::

I have to do this week’s meal plan but I think it’s going to be a fair amount of stuff from Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, which is one of my favorite cookbooks.

 

 

Seven Quick Takes No. 56

 

 

I.

There is no such thing as a dull week at Emily’s house. Really, there’s not. There were good things this week and not good things.

II.

Good things: A new show! PCT needs more people in the chorus for Hello, Dolly! (their fall production) so I volunteered and my first rehearsal is tonight. I’m really excited about this. It’s a show I’m not that familiar with, so I’ll have to spend a lot of time with the music at first, so I make sure I have it down. Normally when I do a show I’ve been doing prep even before the audition, getting familiar with the music and such, but I didn’t do that here, because I wasn’t planning on doing Dolly. But hey, unexpected things can be good!

III.

They can also be…not good. On Wednesday I was hit with vomiting, nausea, intense abdominal pain, all of which led to a trip to the Resort’s ER. I was kept overnight for observation and to get the pain and nausea under control, which happened. (Thankfully!) I had great nurses on the floor and all in all it was fairly uneventful once by body started behaving again. My liver enzymes were slightly elevated, so I’ve started another drug to fix that–whether or not it’s a long-term thing, I don’t know. But no big deal.

IV.

Since I was in the hospital on Wednesday, no yarn along. I need to get back to my washcloth, which I have now started three times. But I think the third time is, indeed, the charm. I hope so, anyway, because I do not want to rip it out again!

V.

CD I’m listening to is Joyce DiDonato’s Stella di Napoli–bel canto opera arias. Mmm. Good stuff indeed. You really can’t go wrong with Joyce.

VI.

Today’s First Friday so I’m heading to Mass and then setting up my CCD classroom for the year. CCD starts on Sunday. I am excited and nervous, but mostly excited, because I love teaching, and I love little kids. It’s a good combination. I’ve also missed my co-catechist a lot and can’t wait to be back teaching with her every week.

VII.

One thing I’ve started this week is the practice of Morning Pages. Elizabeth F. talks about this a lot, and I’ve tried to write three pages every morning. It’s part of the Artist Way exercises, so if you’ve read that book, you’re familiar with them. They’re usually “wild brain” exercises, like you do in writing classes–you write whatever comes to mind, even if it’s “I hate this, I’m tired, I need coffee” for a certain amount of pages or minutes. (My teacher used to do 10 minutes in class sometimes.) I have a notebook for these, and I don’t re-read what I write, or worry about my handwriting. So far it’s been a decent exercise, but man, it can be hard to write three handwritten pages before I do anything else in the morning. My brain is screaming at me to get stuff done–not realizing that in the writing, stuff is getting done.